Weasley Number 6

NEVILLE!!!

Wed, 05 Jul 2006 02:32:07 GMT

Neville, I need to ask you something! Colin said you were in the greenhouses but you weren't there so I'm going to give up in a minute! But it's really important!

Laundry day!

Sat, 06 May 2006 19:43:07 GMT

Oi, Harry! If you need a towel, the house-elves just bought up my laundry, and I have extras!

And you'll never guess what else was in there: a pair of girls' knickers!

They're soft and pretty and much nicer than my ratty old y-fronts. I think I'll keep them!

the ronmeister's charm has worked its magic!!!!!

Fri, 21 Oct 2005 04:08:57 GMT

LOOK!!!! LAVVIE-POO GAVE ME SOMETHING CALLED "BLING."

She told me, "I sploosh you"!!!!!!!

I SPLOOSH YOU TOO LAVVIE!!!!! It feels so good to be pursued!!

hankering for seafood!!!

Fri, 23 Sep 2005 02:24:21 GMT

If I were Cho!!! (Which I am not, thank Merlin! She has no knockers!!!)
Then I would woe!!!!
About going to the lake!!!!
And not having the Squid come up to take...
Me. Away?????

Take?????? Make???? Cake??? Hmmmm...nothing rhymes with lake anyway!!!

HARRY WHERE ARE YOU??? DO YOU STILL HAVE THOSE CHUDLEY CANNON SWIMMING BRIEFS MUM GOT YOU FOR CHRISTMAS???????

its too hot to wear clothes in the summer!!!!!!!!

Thu, 04 Aug 2005 04:50:17 GMT

Harry!!!! I GOT YOU SOMETHING FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY THIS YEAR BUT HERMIONE TOLD ME THAT YOU HAVE GONE MISSING!!! I WAS GOING TO GET YOU A DANCE FOR YOUR LAP!!!

A DANCE FOR YOUR LAP HARRY!!!!!

Anyway. Apparently, I am going to get lucky on your belated birthday!!!!!!!!

Why is the squid not responding to my tasty bait?????

THE RONMEISTER RESPECTS THE LADIES!!!!!!

Sun, 27 Mar 2005 23:22:09 GMT

I am creating the Official Feminist Roundtable here at Hogwarts!!!!

Bloody hell!!! Men make me sick!!! All men are pigs!!! All they ever do is make disgusting comments about ladies and how gorgeous they are and how big their knockers are!!!! Today, I heard saw stupid first year boy looking in the direction of that empowered, red-haired lady's knockers!! Merlin, boys shouldn't even enter school until they're at least sixteen!!!

Of course, I kicked him in the berries and then twigs!!! (BLOODY MERLIN YES IT FELT SO FANTASTIC!!!! IT'S BLOODY THRILLING TO KICK BLOKES IN THE BERRIES!) They deserve it too! Men have it so much easier than ladies! All they do is sit around and produce tiny tadpole creatures from their You-Know-What!!!!!!!!!!!

Ladies are superior! They should rule the world!!! They're smarter and their knockers are not to be looked at! Knockers are symbols of lady-like strength!!!!!

Merlin!!! They ought to ship boys off to an island!! All they ever do is degrade ladies by supporting gender inequality through buying issues of Broomstick Babes! Someone in the dorms hid a stash of those derogatory magazines under my pillow!!! WHERE DID THEY COME FROM?! BLOODY MERLIN LADIES ARE BEAUTIFUL CREATURES THEY SHOULD NOT BE PLASTERED ALL OVER MAGAZINES LIKE OBJECTS!!!

DON'T OBJECTIFY ME! I'M A STRONG FEMALE RIGHTS ADVOCATE!!!!!!!!!

...Hey I kind of want a Neville Longbottom autographed picture!! Wait! NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM IS A MALE CHAUVINIST!!! WHAT MAKES HIM THINK HE CAN SAVE THE WORLD! ONE LADY CAN SAVE TEN WORLDS IN THE TIME IT TAKES HIM TO TAKE ONE BECAUSE LADIES AREN'T CONTROLLED BY YOU-KNOW-WHATS!!!!

THE RONMEISTER TURNS ONE YEAR OLDER!!!!

Tue, 01 Mar 2005 06:08:24 GMT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!

...TO ME!

Do you think any ladies will pop out of cakes in nothing but their knocker restraints for me?!??!?!?!?!?!!? Or maybe this will finally be the year when I finally sprout my own set of knockers or the set down there becomes the set up there!!!!!!!

Oh bloody bugger!!! I still have to do that ruddy polyjuice thing!!! It should be easy though!! I mean how hard is it to right about having knockers?!?!?!?

(Hey Hermione!! Do you know what I want for my birthday?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!)

I AM FINALLY A WOMAN!!!!!!!!!

Tue, 15 Feb 2005 05:57:27 GMT

I seemed to have lost my date at the ball!!!!!!!! It fell off my shoulder when I was shaking like the Meister I am on the dance floor and WHERE DID IT BLOODY GO?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I bet Finch-Fletchley stole it!!!!

That's right ladies! Time to be jealous!!!!! Yes!! Be still my beating hear...BREAST BOOBIE KNOCKER IT'S SO SOFT BLOODY BOSOMING MERLIN!!!!

......BLOODY MERLIN!!!! BLOODY FANTASTIC OH MY MERLIN AMAZING IT FEELS SO GOOD BLOSSOMING KNOCKERS OH YES!!!! HARRY WHERE ARE YOU GINNY MUUUUUMMMMMMM!!!! COME HERE!!!! COME HERE!!! COME TOUCH MY CHEST!!! I HAVE KNOCKERS!!!! KNOCKERS!!!!

They're so jiggly!!! When I bounce they follow me wherever I go!!!! Bounce BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE!!!!

Wait for it!! Biggest moment of my life!!!!! Reaching down...touching the knocker poking the knocker OMG I AM NOT WEARING A KNOCKER RESTRAINT TONIGHT I AM A WILD CHILD!!!!!!

MERLIN MERLIN MERLIN!!! Wait!! Why is my hair all frizzy!!!!! These knockers actually look really familiar!!!! Kind of like Hermione's when I peeped in on her while she was showering at the burrow....BLOODY MERLIN THESE ARE HERMIONE'S KNOCKERS!!! WHY ARE THEY ON MY CHEST!!!!!! I AM TOUCHING HERMIONE'S KNOCKERS!!!

...Why is the Ronmeister's little Ronald not doing anything?!?!?! HAS IT FALLEN OFF?! CHECKING NOW!!!! WHY IS THERE A COMPLEX LABRYINTH THERE!?!?!?!?! WHAT IS THAT?!?!?!?!?!?! WHY DOES IT GO IN INSTEAD OF OUT?!?!?!?! WHAT AM I TOUCHING BLOODY DISGUSTING BUT THIS FEELS GOOD!!!!!!

...Hey!! Hermione came to the ball with Anthony!!! Does this mean I'll have to find Goldstein and "study" with him??? Ravenclaws have intense drives! I'm not picky!!!

GOLDSTEIN WHERE ARE YOU???????

...OH MAN WHEN I RUN I CAN FEEL MY KNOCKERS BOUNCE!

i know i'm a heartbreaker!!!!

Mon, 14 Feb 2005 06:34:01 GMT

Ladies!!!!! Don't bother asking the Ronmeister for a date to the Ball tomorrow!!!! He's taken!!!!!

Fri, 07 Jan 2005 05:10:30 GMT

Shall conquer the world with my Ronmeister "study" skills!!!! Have "borrowed" a book off a Ravenclaw!!! Am trying to find out their "study" secrets...they must have something in those books of theirs that keep them studying dawn till dusk!!! No one should be able to outlast the Ronmeister!!!!!

Was in a loo trying to outlive!! Outlast!!! OUTPLAY!!!! Be all that I can be with my right hand!!!! Do not understand Ravenclaw euphemisms though!!!

Hermione!! Goldstein?!?! What does it mean when goblins shuffle their galleons?!?!?!?! What exactly does flicking and swishing a feather do??

My soft young boy arse is numb from sitting on the toilet seats for so long!!! Maybe Ravenclaws can study so long because their actual time of stimulus is shorter than the rest of ours!! That must be their dirty secret!!!!! Finally had to listen to Mrytle moaning before this Ronmeister got his magic back into action!!!!!

I'm still sticky from shuffling my galleon!!!! Wonder if Dobby will wash my trousers with his long nimble fingers...bloody merlin need to go to my im-a-ge interweb folder and re-work the Ronmeister magic again!!!! I always knew I could outlast everyone!!!!!!

BLOODY MERLIN DISGUSTING WHY IS MY IM-A-GE FOLDER FULL OF WOBBLING LADY PARTS?!??!?!?!?!?!? HARRY QUICK!! AVERT MY EYES!!!!!

Hey!!! Boot wrote an essay about the Gay!!!! Wonder what that is!!! He looks like a hot stud in his scarf though!!!!!

......Apparently this disease can be caught on toilet seats!!!!!! I AM ALWAYS ON TOILET SEATS FOR ONE REASON OR ANOTHER!!! OH GOD I HOPE I DON'T CATCH THE GAY!!!!!!! I MIGHT HAVE TO GO TO THERAPY OR DAY CAMP OR SOMETHING TO BE CURED!!!!

Oh well...I wonder if Finch-Fletchley wants to ride the squid with me!!!!!

how many questions does it take to get to the bottom of a knocker restraint?????

Fri, 03 Dec 2004 04:01:55 GMT

HOW DOES ONE WORK A KNOCKER RESTRAINT APPARATUS?????
WHY DOESN'T THE SQUID HAVE A KNOCKER RESTRAINT TO WORK????

And most importantly!!!!!!!!!! WHY CAN'T I EVER FIND ANYONE TO STUDY WITH???????!!!!

most efficient studier ever!!!!!

Fri, 15 Oct 2004 04:11:08 GMT

Wow!!!! Goldstein "studies" for over 6 hours a day!!!!! I only "study" 10 times a day at 8 minute intervals!!!!!!!

Hey Goldstein!!! What do you mean you were watching me "study" at the lake!? Big Ron and the Twins, me, and the Giant Squid need some privacy!!!!!! Don't try stealing my study techniques!!!!!! The two-handed skill can only be mastered by the Ronmeister!!!!!!

Did anyone read Bulstrode's interweb journal?!?!?!?!?!? She wrote about naked shoulders and carroty red curls!!!!!!!!! And disrobing!!! I didn't know Bulstode wrote interweb stories!!!! Is this the stuff in the books Goldstein is reading when he studies?????? I've never done it with books before or an interweb journal!!!!!!

...Time for another 8 minute session!!!! I'll be in the Prefect's Bathroom studying for Sexual Education if anyone needs a tutor!!!!!!!!!!!!

would you like to rub my nubbins?

Fri, 24 Sep 2004 04:26:03 GMT

Today I am going to wear my blue jumper!!!!! It really shows off my nubbins!!!!!!! Why can't I find it?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I can't be a nubbin-master without my blue jumper!!!!

Harry!!! Hermione!!!! Urgent emergency!!!! WOW!!! ALL OF MY JUMPERS LOOK REALLY RED!!!!!!!!!

...Why do I have trousers in my closet? AND WHY ARE MY SHEETS UNSTAINED?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

There is a tube sock left on my pillow! Time to take care of this clean sheet issue!!!!!

HEY!! Look at what someone put in the center of my bed!!!!! Wow!! I love furry red things!!!!!

...Why is my Chudley Cannon's poster missing?! BLASPHEMY!!!

squids are almost as amazing as big knockers!!!!!!

Tue, 21 Sep 2004 03:11:13 GMT

Hey!!! Harry!!! Did you see the knockers Snape has in his icon?!?!?!?!?!? The lady's wearing some sort of ugly black blouse but the knockers!!!!! Did you see how round and uplifting they were?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Also, those fishlike knocker restraints are rather bloody fantastic!!!!! I bloody love sea creatures!!!!!!!

In fact, I'm off for a quick dip in the lake!!!!! Someone's going round and stealing everybody's stuff right now...I wonder if I LEAVE MY CLOTHES UNDER THE TREE BY THE LAKE if my trousers will be stolen. Go on!!! Liberate me!!!!!

Off to the lake!!!!!!!!

SQUID??? SQUID WHAT HAPPENED TO MY SQUID?! WHO PUT THIS HAT ON MY SQUID?!?!??!!?!?!!?!?!! WHO PUT THIS YELLOW AND PINK PARTY HAT ON MY SQUID?!?!?!?!?

DID SOMEONE TAKE THE SQUID OUT TO A PARTY???? FINCH-FLETCHLEY DID YOU TAKE A RIDE ON THE SQUID AGAIN?!

WHOSE BEEN SNEAKING AROUND WITH MY SQUID??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!

...Wow!!! I wish I had a hat like that for my LITTLE squid. Hermione!!! Do you think Dobby could make me one????? 9.525 centimeters around!!!!

where did big ron and the twins go??!??!?!?!?!

Wed, 15 Sep 2004 23:11:36 GMT

BLOODY HELL GINNY!!!!!!!!!! DID YOUR MOSQUITO BITES SWELL OR SOMETHING?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!??!!?!?

Your knockers sort of remind me of Mum's only they don't sag as much!!!!!

LKSFMKLASNFLdeo-irjmlKDFJE091I2RJKLMAAKSMXAS;MDVLSFI21049RTJEWRLDKMa.SKFLEJR0PQWJMDsdklfnsdlgnqwproi0piejwglksmfd[pq0irwjrlgmsake209qrtuwjireglfi2095rt43u5y9823ikromafqFEKWGLNL!!!!!!!

But I can't believe you're trying to kill me now!!!!!!!!!! I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT YOU MADE ME WASTE A PAIR OF TROUSERS OVER ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!!!!!!!

...Are you sure they're your knockers??? Maybe you should prove it to me!!!

Or you can come up to the boys dorm and we can hug and make up!!!!!

(If you kill me in water, do you think you could throw me into the Hogwarts Lake??????)

i am so trouserless!!!!

Wed, 15 Sep 2004 04:14:00 GMT

WOW HARRY!!!! HAVE YOU SEEN THESE?!?!?!?!?!?

Those knockers are absolutely amazing!!!!!!!! SHE OBVIOUSLY IS NOT WEARING A KNOCKER RESTRAINT!!!!

They're sort of crooked, but the shirt is rather sheer so if you squint you can sort of see a swirl that might be the nubbin thing girls have!!!!!!!!

I have small nubbins!!!!!

Hey Ginny!!!! Do you know what picture you got that icon from?!?!?!??! Why do you have an icon of knockers anyway?!?!?!?!?! Whose knockers are those?!?!?!?!?! Do you think she'd let me touch them?!?!?!?!

I wonder if Bulstrode still likes my nubbins...

...I didn't know Seamus and Crabbe both had such nice nubbins on their chests!!!!!! THEY'RE ALMOST SHINIER THAN THE GIRL IN GINNY'S ICON!

Does anyone want to do my laundry???????

me and squid ride off into the sunset

Sat, 04 Sep 2004 21:45:27 GMT

HE-MAIL TO FINCH-FLETCHLEY!!!!!!!! GET OFF MY SQUID!!!!!

Parkinson is such a bloody scarlet woman!!!! Only a FETISH-IST would let her male-companion ride other people's squids. MY MUM TOLD ME ABOUT LADIES LIKE YOU PARKINSON!!!!!!!!

I tried to go to the lake today!!!! The squid never came to see me!!!!!!!!!!!!

BLOODY HELL FINCH-FLETCHLEY!!!!!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!

...Wow!!! Have you guys seen Creevey in that green flouncy thing?!?!?!?!?!?! WOW!!!!! I WONDER IF HE HAS A SISTER!!!!!!!!!!

HEY COLIN!!!!! WANT TO GET IT ON WITH THE RON-MEISTER?!?!

Does wearing a flouncy thing suddenly give you all the keys and holes?! I lost the link about pube-r-ty link Hermione gave me!!!!!

i am a grade a googler

Mon, 30 Aug 2004 03:23:59 GMT

Bloody hell! I've found a searching-engine!!! It is called Goog-oogle!!!!!!!!

Go searching-engine!!!! Bring me forth some information about...RONALD BILIUS WEASLEY!!!!!!!

Only 579 results??????? But HARRY JAMES POTTER had 2,380,000 results!!!!!!!

MUM!!!!!!! THE SEARCHING-ENGINE IS BEING UNFAIR TO ME!!!!!!

What is this????? A journalling comm-u-nity called Ronald Bilius Weasley Should Love Me!!!!!!!!

GINNY LOOK!!!!! I THINK SOMEONE FANCIES ME!!!! DO YOU THINK IT IS ICICLE??????? OR HERMIONE?????

Why is there a picture of me with long flowing red hair?!?!?!?! My hair is not long and flowing!!!!! The inter-web is full of lies!!!! LIES!!!!!! THIS INFORMATION IS INACCURATE!!!!!!

AND WHY IS MILLICENT IN THIS COMMUNITY???? IT IS NOT ABOUT CAKE!!!!!! IT IS ABOUT ME!!! RONALD BILIUS WEASLEY!

...Do I really have a musky boyscent??????

HEY GINNY!!! COME HERE!!!!! DO I HAVE MUSKY BOYSCENT??????

MY TROUSERS ARE HURTING!!!!

Sun, 29 Aug 2004 05:38:32 GMT

HARRY!!!!! I THINK I HAD ONE OF THOSE NIGHTMARES!!!!!!

MUM!!!! GINNY!!!!! I HAD A NIGHTMARE!!!!! I HAD A TROUSER-STAINING NIGHTMARE!!!!

My pajamas feel all sticky!!!! MUM!!!!!!!!

Hermione?!?!?!? Do you know any potions to make nightmares go away???? I had one about Bulstrode's jiggling knockers trying to suffocate me!!!! I think she thought I was cake and she was trying to eat me!!!!!!!

I bet she got frosting on my trousers in the dream BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL STICKY!!!!!!!!!

Hey Harry! Who do you think has bigger knockers?? Icicle or Bulstrode???????

looking to be a ladies man!!

Sun, 22 Aug 2004 22:53:13 GMT

MUM!!!!! NO ONE IS TELLING ME WHO THE HOT LADY AT THE PARTY WAS!!!!! MUMMMM!!! I NEED TROUSERS!!!!

MUM MUM MUM MUM MUMMMM!!!

Oh! Ginny!!! I will let you wear my Chudley Cannons hat for one hour if you tell me who the lady was??? Please please please???

And Hermione!!! Harry!!! Guess what!!! My cousin Icicle is visiting!!

...GINNY!!! DO YOU KNOW WHERE ICICLE IS???? HAVE YOU SEEN HER????? WHY AREN'T YOU TELLING ME?????

MUM!!!! GINNY IS KEEPING SECRETS FROM ME!!!!!!

Hmmmm!! I wonder if Seamus has a sister!!! Maybe that is who the hot lady was!!!!! OY SEAMUS!!! YOU DO HAVE A SISTER DON'T YOU????

GIVE ME GIVE ME GIVE ME

Sat, 21 Aug 2004 05:02:02 GMT

Bloody hell!!!!!!!!

THERE IS A HOT LADY AT OUR VERY EXCLUSIVE PARTY!!!!!!!

SHE IS DEFINITELY HOTTER THAN PARKINSON AND HERMIONE COMBINED!!!!!!!!!!

Ginny!!!! Who is she?!

Can I have her?????

Mum!!!!! I want the pretty lady!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

....MUM!!!!! I NEED NEW TROUSERS!!!!!!!!

me and my hot girl-friend

Thu, 12 Aug 2004 04:34:42 GMT

Obviously you people have forgotten the best thing about inter-web!!! Ladies!!!!

Is everybody just sitting around typing poetry??? (By the way, I still don't understand the symbolism!! There are more important things to be done!

Girls!!!

And I found one on the inter-web!!!! She is from across the pond on something called an ISLAND called Hawa-ee!!!!!!! She is so exotic! Look!!!

Mum!!! I have a lady friend!!!! Look Ginny!!! Look Hermione!!! LOOK HARRY LOOK!!!!

Her name is Malificent Bulltoad!!!! Isn't she wickedly hot?

She is shinier than Parkinson and even shinier than Hermione's forehead!!!!!

a desperate ploy!

Fri, 06 Aug 2004 04:53:20 GMT

Mum!!!!! Dad is embarassing me!!!!!! Has he stopped "Maca-ren-a-ing" yet??????? This house evacuation is stunting my growth!!!!

Bloody hell!!! Has everyone gone utterly mad?!?!?!?!?! Parkinson is not that hot. Right Harry???? There are other ladies!!!!! Come to the Burrow and you can help me look for some!!!!!

...I have no ladies. Inter-web???? You taunt me.

Mum???? Can you wash my trousers???? I don't have any clean ones left.

Dad is also still embarassing me!!!!!!

Hey Hermione! I bet that if you hug me everything will be better!!! Even better! If any lady wants to hug me everything will be better.

Maybe you will get lucky and unstunt my growth!!!!!

i know what a lady looks like now

Thu, 29 Jul 2004 05:44:35 GMT

Bloody hell! Inter-web is bloody fantastic! It fetched me some ladies!!!

Corner was right. You can find ladies on this thing. You just have to brow-rose for them. I clicked a button and one of them lifted up her skirt.

Look Harry! Girls! Girls! Girls!!!! Want me to send you some of this? Charlie taught me a trick to help when you are angry. Don't be angry, mate. Look at all the inter-web ladies. Bloody wicked!!!!!!!

I love the inter-web.

Merlin! Hermione!! Do you have one of those too?!?!?!

...I hope Mum does the laundry again soon. OH. AND MUM. HERMIONE IS COMING OVER TOMORROW!!!!!! IS THAT ALRIGHT?????

i know how to type!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sat, 24 Jul 2004 18:36:16 GMT

aaaaaaaaaaaaassssssssssdddddddffffffffffggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhjjjjjjjjjj

Wow! I'm ty-ping on a top-lap and using the inter-web. Bloody wicked! Look Hermione! I'm ty-ping! The INTER-WEB. These things are fantastic!

Too bad we don't have any parchment to use at Hogwarts right Harry? Now I can't make flying paper triangles or draw stick-Snape exploding during Potions.

I'm hungry. They sent me my Hogwarts letter on pigskin. Mum makes wicked porkchops. Maybe she'll make them for dinner. Fantastic!

I want a Chudley Cannon im-a-ge back-ground. Go inter-web! Bring forth my im-a-ge!

Why won't it do anything?

This inter-web thing is crap.